I have to talk about this, it's been a long time coming but my friends know I've had this sort of debate on Facebook and you know what, we never came to a real conclusion! So now I'm going to use my voice and get several people's opinions and hopefully even open up some people's eyes!
I have absolutely no problem with inter racial dating-none at all, but my problem comes when guys (especially black guys) claim to not be dating black girls BECAUSE of 1 or 2 bad experiences or stereotpes, or worse, they feel that dating a non-black girl is an upgrade from black women. Excuse me, but if I had to base my relationships based on bad experiences with black guys, I would be married to a white guy by now, but no we have to take each person as an INDIVIDUAL and not a racial stereotype. I'm going to go throught the excuses:
The "angry" excuse: A lot of black guys say black girls are "angry" and to that I reply, show me an angry black girl and I will show you 2 happy ones. I don't know where these guys hang out or maybe they attract these angry black girls to themselves, but not every single black girl wants to stab you in the heart.
The "real hair" excuse: Also, a lot of black guys say "I want a girl with real hair, which is funny to me because non-blacks use hair extensions just as much as black girls. We have black girls rocking their natural 'fro ALL OVER the world, just like we have girls with braids and also girls who put extensions in...Wake up!
The "too much work/drama" excuse: Ohh,I've heard about this one as well, apparently "black women" are too much drama and work. To this excuse, I again ask "which black girls have you been with? You certainly have not hung out with all of them so why the generalisation?" I have hung out with black boys-(yes,I will call them boys) who had more drama than 3 of my girlfriends put together. They were broke wanna be celebrities sleeping with 2 or more girls at the same time but guess what, I would still love to marry a black man if that's what's meant to be.
The "black women are no fun,too strict" :and to that I say no, YOU my friend are weak.
Hmm,last I checked black boy, your mother was black and strong and kept it tohether and made sure you were at school on time,even if that meant she had to skip a meal or 2. Made sure you were shining in that sunday suit for you class picture,even if it meant she had to bend over backwards for an extra 4 hours a night. How do you turn your back on that and use it as an insult?
As for us being no fun, how many of us know a black grandma who could bust a move at a family barbecue like no man's business? We have rhythm in us and we can let loose under the right circumstances, but also note that from time, we have always been dealt the shorter hand and have had to always fight to get what we deserve, so we like to put our game faces on! When we smile,it's genuine and golden.
All in all, what I'm trying to say is, never run away from a race thinking that the next race is "better" or doesn't have it's own issues. See people as individuals and not as a race or a hair extension. Think of the type of person you want to be with forever-put race aside. Do you want her to be strong, loving,nurturing,caring,smart,independent,beautiful and love you for who you are? Then go after HER...black, white or any other race.
Thanks for commenting! I love you.
Where there are colors, there is inspiration.
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Personal shopper and friend xoxo Brenda.